Four Months... Really?

Wow, I am kind of FAIL at blogging, aren't I? I guess it happens - oh well, sue me. Let's see, what can I say to bring everyone up to date...

• Went on a Cruise, saw Joel McHale live - that was pretty fun.
• Worked a bunch.
• BAMA was 12-0 this season, lost to Florida that was a closer game than the refs let it end up. We'll finish 13-1, not bad for a team in year two of a total rebuild.
• Relapsed into my Animal Crack Rock addiction. Thanks, Nintendo.
• Watched a handful of movies, but not many worth bragging about. Kind of makes up for the really good summer I guess.

So, I may as well make some movie notes here.

• Bond - Watchable, nothing special.
• Bolt - Better than expected.
• Australia - An insult to a country, and my brain. This is a quote from an Australian, not me. Poorly done IMHO.
• Twilight - I finally finished a chapter on the cruise. Could not make myself go any further, so not watching the movie either.
• The Day the Earth Stood Still - Better than I expected, but I had low expectations. Come to think of it though - giving Keanu a role where the audition description read something like "alien in humanoid form, emotion prohibited" was probably genius casting.

Think we are watching Tale of Despereaux tomorrow. I want to see The Spirit if I can, but other than that - nothing is exciting me to go to the cinema. I will wait for DVD on most everything else. At least Watchmen is just 3 months away.

How to Open a Box

Why didn't my iPhone have this?

Open the Box!!!

Redundant Labelling at the Olympics

Come on Brazil - we know what these ladies are wearing - but thanks for the extra label.

Final Rankings (?)

So, the summer has ended, and I end my tally at 13 movies. I'm not likely to watch any more before Labor Day, so I might as well put up the final rankings.

1. Hellboy 2
2. Dark Knight (The superior film, but I enjoyed Hellboy more)
3. Hulk
4. Tropic Thunder (Downey was the difference for Iron Man - he was better in this)
5. Iron Man
6. Prince Caspian
7. Wall-E
8. Mummy - Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (or whatever)
9. Get Smart
10. Wanted
11. Journey to the Center of the Earth
12. Hancock

On second, I want to try to pretend I did not see the thirteenth movie. Screw, George Lucas.

At the same time, here is the list of stuff I wish I had seen, but will probably wait for DVD.

1. Step Brothers
2. Pineapple Express
3. Kung Fu Panda (which was apparently better than I assumed)
4. Speed Racer (just for the visual specacle on a big screen)
5. Hamlet 2
6. Clone Wars (Mostly because I hate that George Lucas has made me hate anything where he gets a check - so I REFUSE to go see this one.)

Well, it looks like it is time to wait for the holidays now. Bond, Punisher, Bolt, perhaps Twilight. Too bad Potter dropped to next summer, really.

Damn, How Many Kennedys are there?

Just when you thought the Dead Kennedys should not be attempting to recruit anymore family members, you have another one come out of the woodwork.
The Kennedy Family has Nothing Better to Do
The fine print at the top points out that he is nephew to the "Big 3" Kennedys, and brother of Maria Shriver, cousin to the one that was a bad pilot.
The article speaks for itself, someone who had a perfect life growing up (give or take a few transportation issues in the family) gets super upset that someone might be offended by a word in a movie. A few interesting notes here:

1. Not offended at all by the blackface character. I was surprised that he stopped with the one crusade.
2. For someone that once helped produce a Dreamworks picture and should know better, he sure seems to not understand that Spielberg and his buddies sold Dreamworks to Paramount and are not involved in this decision.
3. Boycotts rarely work. Retarded ones NEVER do. (Yes, my choice of words here was intentional.
4. I'd love to be the guy that understood the situation a little bit more and tried to ask Stiller and the studio heads to pull the film. "Excuse me Hollywood guys, we know it took you like 10 years to get this off the ground, and that you spent 90 million dollars on the most expensive rated R comedy ever made - but you mind just calling the whole thing off?"

My proposals for a response. Any or all of the following should be used.

1. Reinstate the jokes and marketing that were pulled. Even if not nationally - put a bunch in place outside this guy's houses(s).
2. More DUI and private plane crash jokes.
3. More Salvation Army jokes. (if there is such a thing)
4. A new commercial with a slow zoom on Tim Shriver's picture with the slogan "Don't Go Full Retard, Go See Tropic Thunder instead...."
5. If you know a mentally challenged person - take them to see the movie. I bet they actually end up loving the film

The sooner the world learns that insensitive labels and words are just that - words. They only have power when you LET them have power. When you ignore them, and I don't know - have a little bit of a sense of humor for a change - people tend to get along better.

I was planning to watch this already, but as a friend of minue put it - I may have to see it twice now.

Let's Get All Philosophical and Stuff

So, for no good reason today, the following conundrum entered my brain.

"Does God use proper grammar?"

Now, let's just assume for a second that you, the reader, believes in a supreme deity of some sort. (In other words, this is not a "Does God exist?" argument post....) Would that deity speak with proper grammar? If he does not, does that mean normal grammatical conventions are wrong? If they are still correct, does it really matter if he decides to wantonly disregard them? Are you going to correct him/her/it? That's what I thought.

And while I am at it - wouldn't is suck to be all-seeing? I mean, that means God alwaysy sees Rosie O'Donnel in the shower. As an all-seeing being - can you turn that off, or set it to an "alert" type summary status to be able to avoid such sights? Same goes for all-knowing. I mean, you can KNOW all about the inner-workings of Andy Dick's brain, but could you turn that power off if you just didn't WANT to?

I just don't know.

BatMarbles

I thought it was just me....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2yv8aT0UFc

The Star Wars Closet

Ok, I have made no secret of my more recent dislike of George Lucas. I could go on for days. This post is to relate a short amusing email exchange I saw recently. DISCLAIMER: I do not have any problem with homosexuals, but the layout of the exchange below works better as a play on words as seen below.

Person A: I am in Holland for the summer, and see this Clone Wars preview. I had never heard of that one - is it coming out in the states?
Person B: Yes, it is comign out everywhere.
Person C: And by coming out, he means it is gonna be kind of ghey.

Batman - a Dichotomy

So, you already knot that I liked Batman - well, at least enough to top Indiana Jones. However, I have not officially placed it in a position on my ranking list. I'll tell you it makes the top 3 - but I am not sure where it registers.
How can this be?
Well, Batman (Dark Knight, specifically) is easily the most superior example of film making I have seen this year. The movie is pretty rock solid from beginning to end. Without a doubt, it is the best movie of the year so far.
However, I'm not sure I would call it my top movie. You come out of that movie mentally exhausted and feeling beat up. That is how good it does at expressing the pathos, and how well it keeps you on edge. As a result - I enjoyed movies like Hellboy, Hulk, and Iron Man a lot more, because I had more fun watching them. Batman's quality alone gets it up to the top 3 or 4, but the discomfort level (a very necessary and masterful invoked emotion in this case) keeps me from making it a no brainer top of the list. I just don't know. How can a movie be the best, but not be the top? Thoughts, anyone?

Side note - the cross-casting of Nestor "Bat-Manuel" Carbonell as the mayor cracked me up.

Indiana was the dog's name....

And in this case, that means the dog movie of the summer. Well, thank you Batman - you have prevented me from ever having to say "Indiana Jones was in my top 10 for the summer." I don't think I ever doubted this would be the case - but now, it is finally done.

HUZZAH!!!

Wait - How is Indiana Jones in my top 10 for the summer?

Well, I have only seen 10 movies - that's why. Here are the rankings. (as of time of post)

1. Hellboy 2
2. Hulk
3. Iron Man
4. Prince Caspian
5. Wall-E
6. Get Smart
7. Wanted
8. Journey to the Center of the Earth (even if too many - they did that just for 3D effects)
9. Hancock
10. That movie that deserves to not even be included in the art form. Such a shame it is now the top grosser.

Good news though. I have my Batman ticket, so somebody loses their spot this weekend. SUCCESS!!!

Word to the Wise.... (This is for the men.)

Don't ever conference two female friends on IM to talk about makeup. Your IM window will keep blinking, and you will be BOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEEDDDDDD. (lol)

Dude Looks Like a Lady...

So, I work for one of those companies large enough to have a central IT group, and one of those large enough where we actually have to log requests with that group to get anything done. You get an automated response back when the case is logged, and someone gets back to you... well, when they feel like it.

So, one day I had to log a case to reserve a projector or something dumb like that. I get an email that says:

HELPDESK CASE LOGGED BY: dude

At first I think - surely, this must be an automated generic name they put in there. But just for fun, I decide to check the company directory.

YES - we actually have someone whose last name is Ude, and a first initial of D.

So instantly, all the jokes come to mind. I was real tempted to run to a conference room, call the extension, say "DUDE" and then hang up. I wondered if this person always had the name, or changed it to fit. I wondered if a person in this country growing up with that name pretty much signs up for the abuse if they DON'T change the name once they are old enough.

What's more, this person is female. Maybe she married into it. All we know for sure is - dude, does in fact, look like a lady.

The Quest for a Bad Summer Movie

OK, you may as well get used to this now - I am a nitpicker when it comes to pop culture. I worked in a movie theater for several years, and learned an unfortunate lesson. When you start seeimng movies for free, you watch a lot more of them. You also learn to stop making excuses for unenjoyable film, and become a lot more critical. I have long since left the cinema business (10 years today, actually), but the habit does not die.

That being said, this summer has had me worried that I had gone soft. I have watched seven movies this summer, and liked six of them. Furthermore, I have had very few complaints about any of them. If you extend the time period back to April, that's seven movies in a short time span where I had very few complaints. This is unheard of. It's times like these that I, and people used to my opinionated nature wonder if I am sick, or if the world will soon end.

Now, I will not a few caveats. I did not watch everything. Speed Racer got skipped. If I could skip Sex and the City twice, I would. I ran out of time and missed Zohan. However, I watched most of the other blockbusters. Iron Man - phenomenal. Prince Caspian - well done. Hulk - separated from Iron Man only by Downey's performance. Get Smart - clever comedy. Wall-E - classic. Wanted - fun action. Yes, I skipped Indiana Jones 4 on purpose, I don't want to talk about it right now - possibly ever.

So, I decided I would quest for a bad movie. Rules are - watch a movie that I was interested in seeing, and have it disappoint. (As Indy so excelled at this task, I find it unfair to other bad cinema to include here.) So, first up - Hancock. It had all the makings of disappointment. Action film under 100 minutes - check. Entire plot revealed in previews - check. Akiva Goldsman - check. (I don't care if he does have an Oscar, he's still responsible for Batman and Robin's script.)
Verdict - did not hate it, but this is more of an average. Movie starts great. Smith is great. Dialogue was plenty of fun, and the action sequences were good. The movie was on the verge of being really good. Then they give the twist. I won't spoil it here, but while it is no "Psychic Aliens" (Screw you, George Lucas), it is pretty lame and sloppy.

Here's the problem, though. I did not have high expectations. So, with the movie merely coming out average, my search has to continue. Hellboy 2 will be the next attempt, but we all know that one will turn out fine. Same for Batman. Surely, I will not make it to August before I am underwhelmed.

If all else fails, Lucas does have "Star Wars Clone Wars" out that month. If I can hype myself up for it - I'm sure I can count on George.

Welcome

Well, it's about time I got around to this. For the most part, this will be a collection of random thoughts and rants. Enough about lame intro crap for now, though - let's jump right into this.

So - in the past 30+ years, nearly 40 (or more) wooly mammoth bodies have been discovered. Many of them have been frozen with soft tissues in tact. In a few cases, enough DNA has been recovered to allow for crude (as far as DNA work goes) reconstruction of hybrid mammoth-elephant DNA. These could all be dead ends, but you could assume that additional breakthroughs and discoveries may eventually lead to the cloning of some sort of mammoth hybrid with elepant surrogacy. A Japanese team has estimated that they believe (following initial success) that 80% pure mammoth could be bred within 25 years.

So, now that you've cloned a mammoth, and built up a breeding population - what is next. Well, those things ARE kind of big. You can't just let huge herds of them wander anywhere. Their old stomping grounds are largely populated, and I imagine they wont' play nicely with society.

My answer - EAT THEM!!! If you are going to bring it back, you may as well have a taste. I figure Siberia is a good place to raise and herd them, or northern reaches of provinical Canada, or even Yellowstone(if for no other reason than to screw with the bison a little bit). Then find find something that can shoot it, chop it up, and cook it. I'm not 100% sure of the best way to prepare it - but I have already figured out the way to serve it - on a stick, a sharp pointy stick. Welcome to my blog.